A son hating his father for not accepting his sexual orientation can have a lasting effect on someone. This issue can often cause families to break up and never reunite again. Growing up is a demanding and challenging task for every adolescent. Forming one's sexual identity is an essential part of the process. All children explore and experiment sexually as part of normal development, which can include members of the opposite or same sex. Some adolescents have extreme anxiety over the thought of experimenting with the same sex, while others are intrigued by the thought. 

Many gay and lesbian individuals first become aware of and experience their homosexual thoughts and feelings during childhood and adolescence. Recent changes in society's attitude toward homosexuality have helped some gay and lesbian teens feel more comfortable with their sexual orientation. In other aspects of their development, homosexual teens are nearly identical to heterosexuals. They experience the same kinds of stress, struggles, and tasks during adolescence.

What Causes Homosexuality?

Homosexual orientation is not a mental disorder. This is greatest fallacy in parents' minds. Although the cause(s) of homosexuality are not fully understood, we do know that a person's sexual orientation is not a matter of choice. In other words, individuals have no more choice about being homosexual than heterosexual. All teenagers, however, do have a choice about their expression of sexual behaviors and lifestyle, regardless of their sexual orientation.
Despite increased knowledge and information about being gay or lesbian, teens still have many concerns. These include:

• feeling distant or separated from peers;
• feeling guilty about their homosexuality;
• worrying about how families and friends will respond;
• being teased and ridiculed by peers;
• worrying about AIDS, HIV infection, and other sexually transmitted diseases;
• fearing discrimination when joining clubs, sports, seeking admission to college, and finding employment;
• being rejected and harassed by others.

Gay and lesbian teens can become socially isolated, withdraw from activities and friends, have trouble concentrating, and develop low self-esteem. They may also develop depression. Parents and others need to be alert to these signs of distress because recent studies show that gay/lesbian youth account for a significant number of deaths by suicide in adolescence.
It is important for parents to understand their teen's homosexual orientation and to provide emotional support. Parents often have difficulty accepting their teen's homosexuality for some of the same reasons that the youngster wants to keep it secret. Gay or lesbian adolescents should be allowed to decide when and to whom to disclose their homosexuality. Counseling may be helpful for teens who are uncomfortable with their sexual orientation or uncertain about how to express it. They may benefit from support and the opportunity to clarify their feelings. Therapy may also help the teen adjust to personal, family, and school-related issues or conflicts that emerge. Therapy directed specifically at changing homosexual orientation is not recommended and may be harmful for an unwilling teen. It may create more confusion and anxiety by reinforcing the negative thoughts and emotions with which the youngster is already struggling.

As a final note to parents: Rejecting a son or daughter's sexual orientation may only drive him or her away from your family for a long time and possibly permanently. If this may seem the case for you or your husband, then seek conseling immediately. Teenagers can only be rejected for so long.

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Issues Concerning Gays and Lesbians

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