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Relationships and Communication

Most often, asking someone out on a date is often what men and women dread the most. Then, a few hours after you agree to go out with someone or someone accepts your offer, you begin to wonder about every aspect that could go wrong. What should you wear? What do you talk about? Do you bring flowers? Should you expect flowers? What should you do if the night's conversation is lagging?

The first date

These questions are just a few of the many that are pondered for hours, even days before a first date. There are no definitive aspects of a first date that have definitive answers. Every man and woman is different. One woman may not like a man to open a car door for her while another woman might expect it. Do not worry about what the other person expects. You do not know him or her and that is why you are going out on a first date. Instead, worry about what you are looking for in a man or woman and how to best present yourself for that type of person. One piece of advice that comes from so many people is to be your self. Unfortunately, many people are new to the dating game and others have been away from it for so long that it just seems so new that it becomes very difficult. This single piece of advice will carry you through any first date. BE YOURSELF!! This overly used piece of advice is neglected because it often does not work. Randomly choosing a man and woman will generally not produce a lasting relationship and thus two people try to "dress" themselves to fit the wants of the other. Unless someone can willingly change their personality and lifestyle to meet the wants of another, the only way to find a match is to BE YOURSELF. An exception of this could be something along the lines of being slightly more outgoing or conservative based on your view of the situation during the date. Many outgoing people are more conservative on a first date because they don't want to scare off their possible partner. The reverse is true as well. Below are some suggestions for the first date and a few dates thereafter.


Since men need more help than women, here are some do's and dont's for dating:

Do's and don't for men

DO:

o Tell your date how beautiful she looks

o Spend most of the night letting her do the talking

o Ask about things that she seems to enjoy talking about

o Act like a gentleman. Open doors, say please and thank you etc.

o Show up 10 minutes early than you are expected

o Do bring a rose or small bouquet

o BE YOUR SELF

DON'T:

Ø Speak about yourself or your business matters. Only talk about yourself when asked

Ø Talk about your family

Ø Talk about previous relationships

Ø Have more than a few drinks

Ø Critique other men or women while you are out
Ø Speak of your financial situation

Ø Be Late

Sex and dating

"How soon into this relationship should I have sex? Is he or she expecting something that I am not? What should I do if my date asks me to come upstairs and I don't want to?" There is a multitude of theory on exactly when to start having sex in a relationship. Unfortunately, there is absolutely no universal idea or theory that can ever hold true for the majority of couples. With this in mind you have two options:

1. Go with the flow and enjoy the time you are spending with your partner. Do not worry about when you will begin to advance your relationship. When two people are coming closer and closer together, a sexual relationship WILL follow and worrying about when will only cause unwanted stress. Overanalyzing a relationship can often lead to the destruction of the relationship itself. If you are eager to advance your relationship then …

2. Be one hundred percent open and honest. Tell your boyfriend/girlfriend your feelings about sex and find out what he or she feels about the subject. Maybe they have been more eager than you and have been scared to bring the subject up. Be as respectful as possible and get the idea across that being together is what is most important to you. Don't let the idea of sex seem like the strongest bond in your relationship. The worst that can happen is getting an answer along the lines of, "I want to wait until the time is right." Before you discuss this, make sure your partner knows how important he or she is to you. THIS IS VERY IMPORTANT!!



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